May 21, 2010
1L
We did it. The first year. The storied year. The year that everyone promises will be the worst.
Legal bootcamp.
It has, hands down, been the most jarring, enjoyable, and ridiculous experience of my life. I am so completely different from I was on August 20th. I fell in love. I made new friends. Had my heart completely broken. Got back up. Struggled against the darkest depression I’ve ever experienced. And I grew.
We finished our exams at 12:30pm. Bouncing up and down in our seats while our exams loaded into the system. Hugs all around. Comments on the boy’s ridiculous Western facial hair grown just for the finals. Because thanks, J, that’s not distracting for any of us. And no, NO ONE wants a ride.
We threw laptops and outlines into our lockers and didn’t look back. By 1:30pm we were slurring and there was more hugging and complete exhaustion.
And at 1:34 I got the call. The call that I had in fact been chosen for an internship at a family law firm that specializes in Divorce Mediation. Exactly what I want to do. Working for a woman I’m referring to as Future Me.
So there was crying and more beers and then a burger and far too many phone calls to my mother. Bless her for being my best friend. Bless time for making her the person I want to call when I’m falling down drunk and crying and happy all at the same time. Bless redial. Also, bless the cab that got me home at 6pm where I passed out with my Hunters on.
So yes, I now have something to say I’m doing for the summer when everyone asks. Something amazing. Something forty hours of unpaid a week amazing. And a class twice a week. But I’ll be able to do it. Because if I managed to do this… I can certainly do that. Though the idea of writing a book over the summer was tempting (which is what I promised myself I’d do if I didn’t get the internship).
That and my overwhelming desire to create a family will have to wait. More transitions. I love this life.
December 15, 2008
Never Have I Ever
Ten Random Things I’ve Done that I ALWAYS Promised I’d Never Do:
10. Love beer
9. Wear clogs
8. Get divorced
7. Take a post GRE standarized test
6. Fall in love with the West Coast
5. Go camping
4. Learn to like boats a bit
3. Fake a Canadian accent
2. Let the dog sleep on my bed again
1. Make out in public
November 20, 2008
I’m Thankful
I’ll be heading across the pond shortly (no, that’s not going to get old) to hang out with the Golden Child for Thanksgiving so my Thankful post is coming a bit early. I’m not sure if I’ll have Internet access while in London and my posting may be sporadic or non-existent. I’m sure I’ll be updating from New Orleans between my crazy work schedule and final LSAT cramming (prepare yourselves for posts consisting entirely of curse words). Thanksgiving marks the time that things really began to fall apart last year, and so here is the list of things I’ve been grateful for in the past 12 months.
I’m Thankful For:
1. Not spending Thanksgiving feeling like my ovaries are being preemptively hijacked by in-laws as in years past
2. My loving and supportive family
3. My hilarious friends
4. The fact that I’ve made it through my first six months of singledom without catching some sort of communicable disease
5. That Izzi still seems to be alive and functioning and that I’ve thus far been able to provide for her, as much as a stretch as it has been
6. Friends who have been so generous to take care of Izzi while I’ve traveled for work or fun
7. That through it all my heart hasn’t been broken and is still intact, if not stronger
8. Memories that mean if the right song comes on I can close my eyes and immediately go back to a lazy Sunday on a sunny boat anchored off the coast of a Floridian island
9. For the men that have shaped the past year, in good ways and bad. At least they’re closed chapters
10. For the men that will forever be open chapters and that give me hope for the gender: my father, the Golden Child, and Will
11. Getting the apparent blessedly shallow end of the crazy gene pool
12. My freedom
13. Peanut Butter Pretzel Cliff bars
14. My newfound love of beer, which makes social situations more versatile and way more fun
15. Falling in love with new cities
16. Endless possibilities
17. Barre class
18. Getting custody of the wine fridge and the coffee maker
19. Great health insurance
20. Early release Fridays
21. My LSAT tutor. Yes, seriously
22. Stable employment
November 19, 2008
New York
I had a pretty perfect weekend in New York. Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures because the majority of the ones I took were at that super flattering “let’s take a picture of ourselves while holding the camera a foot away from our chins!” angle and it’s impossible to cut my face off of them without just posting my neck.
I was able to spend some quality time with my parents and do some retail damage with my mom. I’ve tried to pinpoint the time at which my parents went from being rule enforcers to my best friends and supportive units but it must have been when I moved out. I guess taking the element of fighting over where I left my dirty clothes piles really alleviated the stress in that relationship. This theory holds well since I discovered that they still get pissy when I leave dirty clothes around a hotel room. Anyway, after a day out and about (yes, I wore the damn clogs) I treated myself to a free make-up application and then met up with Will.
Will and I always have a good time together, but it’s rare that it gets to be just the two of us and not the entire Usual Suspect group. We were able to catch up on dating, lack of dating, our daunting life choices, and the requisite high school gossip. We found a random bar after Thai food that happened to have karaoke, a birthday party, a touch of Coyote Ugly, and football on TV. We considered this the epitome of all that is well and good about public drinking establishments and proceeded to get just drunk enough to keep ourselves dancing through the concert.
Of course we discovered a full bar service at the venue (unexpected) on arrival so we ended up getting ourselves just drunk enough to dance like complete idoits through the concert. The music was amazing, and we headed back to the pregame bar that had now turned fully into Coyote Ugly and where I ended up getting sprayed with soda water by a bartender even though I tried to run (hobble at this point) away from her on my poorly chosen stilettos.
We decided to keep the party of two going and headed to Will’s Brooklyn stomping grounds for another drink and then the “Quarterandchange makes drunken food choices” portion of every successful night out where I purchased ice cream, chips and dip, and for some ungodly reason, buffalo flavored pretzel crisps. I think I got through a good portion of the ice cream and the chips and dip before crashing. The next morning Will was seriously pushing me to take the pretzels, but I’m a good friend so I left them for his enjoyment. I’m sure that they didn’t sound great while he was rocking the Sunday morning hangover but I guarantee that they’ll save his life during his next drunken binge.
The drive back to Maine was a little rough and a lot long. It’s hard for me to leave my friends– the people that are more than willing to have a quiet night in or a ridiculous night out and have known me since I had bangs and braces at the same time. I feel homesick after I see them, and returning to my quiet and boring apartment is harder each visit. I hope that next year I’ll be inviting them into my social and exciting life for a visit rather than it always being the other way around.
October 17, 2008
In a Mood
Ok, I don’t want to jinx this or anything, but I am in a freaking fabulous mood. It’s Friday, I’m down two pounds (which I plan to replace with booze this weekend), and I look adorable today if I do say so myself. I’m even wearing my new boots:
Please note the HOT filing cabinet in this photograph. I think it really brings out the potential inappropriateness of what I’m wearing to the office. But even better? I’m about to bring these boots over to LSAT tutoring! YES. My f-me Boots are going to walk right over to Test Prep Services.
And FYI, if anyone is going to ask why I don’t do that adorable thing where I tuck my jeans into my boots like all the cool kids are doing it’s because I could barely zip these things over my man calves (which match my thoroughbred thighs) and an extra half-inch of jeans would exacerbate the “leather sausage” situation.
So the boots are a reason for the joy (yes they hurt, OK, but worth it). I may skip the gym today and feel OK about that. Happiness! I have to leave the office at 3:45 for an appointment. Bliss! And tonight? Tonight I’m going to see a concert with a girl from my office that I like but have never gotten to hang out with before. So yay for new social situations.
And apparently tomorrow night I’ll be going out to celebrate the birthday of the Crush-That-Cannot-Be. So two nights out? With people? And drinking? Ultimate excitement.
The strange thing is that I’m not looking at these evenings as a chance to meet men. I’m excited about the prospect of hanging out with friends outside of my Ikea Hermit Hole and just having an all around good time (this is easier to do since I’m really looking forward to girls night out in the next month or so that may be more suitable for finding cute boys).
Now, what slutty top should I wear tonight? You know, not that I’m looking for attention or trying to share the happy…
October 13, 2008
I Believe in Columbus Day
But my office does not. So, here I am, tired and annoyed that we’re working today when so many others have it off.
As of five pm on Friday I had limited weekend plans, so I was extremely pleasantly surprised when the weekend took a turn for the social. Friday night I spent with a good girlfriend and we both ended up more, ahem, inebriated then planned. I’m pretty sure we passed out at 11pm on her couch like kittens. I know we woke up for a fun ride to the airport at 6am. It’s so lovely to have a friend that you can have a heart-to-heart with and then 12 hours later have no problem telling to stop talking because any noise whatsoever hurts.
I wish I had taken a picture of my platonic walk of shame outfit because it involved dress boots, capri sweatpants, and a t-shirt of hers. It’s worth mentioning that I gave her a hard time for lending me a t-shirt with a giant chocolate stain on it which she promptly pointed out I created while consuming all of the Ben and Jerry’s she had in her freezer while she took a shower.
Saturday I got to meet my friend K and her adorable (beyond adorable) puppy for a good time at the Dog Park followed by a good time at Novare, which turned into a good time out at the bar watching the game with her husband and friend. It was a completely spontaneous and fun night with lots of boy watching and great conversation. Um, not that I actually talked to any boys, but I definitely worked on staring awkwardly at some. I also discovered this weekend that I’m really ready to date again. I’ve moved past the “just wanting someone to lay on me for a while” phase and into the “I’d really like someone to have brunch with” phase.
You know, after they’ve already laid on me for a while.
October 3, 2008
It’s Friiiiday
My Fridays (and my feelings about Fridays) have taken a pretty interesting journey over the past ten years. I read a lot of blogs, and the Friday posts of others always seem to have promises of parties and nights at the bar and potential debauchery. Every Friday morning I ask myself, why don’t these people live in my city? I like debauchery.
Anyway, I digress. Here’s a fun time line of Fridays during recent and pivotal Quarterandchange years.
1999: Heartbroken after the high school sweetheart I spend most Friday nights watching the Seventh Heaven/Dawson’s Creek/Buffy the Vampire Slayer trifecta with my father. And eating Ben and Jerry’s and popcorn.
2001: Few Fridays spent at Smith consist of smoking cigarettes with roommate on porch and attending the WORST dorm parties in the history of college. Oooh, hey cool, more girls sitting around a dorm room. With flavored vodka. Yipppeeee. Nights not spent at Smith? Making a run to Yale for the weekend to embarrass Will in front of his friends or coming home to Maine to watch TV with my dad.
2002: Wasted. Mix and match UNH fraternity and yuppie guy’s name for hours of manjoyment. (ie, Kap House, Wesley).
2005: Potentially hungover mornings, then back to the Urban Family to “fill it up again”. Dancing at OPT, pizza, late night Beirut tournaments on the rooftop deck. Wonder why pants don’t fit. Make out with someone inappropriate. Repeat.
2007: Try to get out of work as early as possible. Drive 45 minutes home to suburban home. Start laundry. Argue with husband about dinner (nachos versus spaghetti?) and start drinking rum immediatly. Bed by 11.
2008: Nunnery. Spend most Friday nights home alone, wondering where all the cool kids hang out and watching TV. Or studying. Or going to the movies with my mom.
2009: Please, please let it involve dates. And law school. And a little more debauchery? Because I don’t think I’m done yet.
October 2, 2008
Thursday
I can’t come up with a more creative title for this post. My brain is completely zapped. I’m at the busiest sales time of the year at work, trying to study when I can, and leaving for a two day trip to Miami on Monday morning at 6am. Yes it would seem that the word “Miami” might have good connotations but I’ll be spending my short time there between the inside of a convention center (yuck) and a Four Points. Oh, and an economy sized rental car because I’m flying in and out of Fort Lauderdale. This stress has me rolling into bed with a DVD around 7pm, where I stew and sulk until I finally pass out until 11pm. And then wake up at 2,3,4am etc.
Today’s been pretty typical. Pilates at 7:30, work, run/lift/elliptical at lunch, work, get distracted around 3pm. Tonight, though, will introduce another element of “stuff I should probably be dealing with”. That’s because tonight I’m going to see a nutritionist. I’ve been on a pretty steady diet for the past three years after losing about 50lbs. I sort of fell off the wagon this summer (see beer, sometimes-date, beer) and I need help getting back on track. I think my body has probably adjusted to the semi-starvation mode it’s been forced into for the past few year and the result is bizarre late night binging (english muffins? that’s not even a treat) and a lost path of how to fuel myself.
I hope she’s got some new, good advice that I can implement. Without having to give up beer all together, because as it stands social time is already at a minimum and having a drink or two with my friends is the only time I really get out of an apartment that is full of LSAT books and a dwindling supply of english muffins.
September 9, 2008
Random Ten
I’ve been working on doing things alone, and this weekend provided quite a few opportunities to do so. I’ve always been a bit afraid of going out alone, eating alone, etc. So, here are the ten random things I did by myself this weekend.
Solo Ten
10. Went to bed on Friday night.
9. Attempted to kiss Sometimes-Date when I misinterpreted the “forehead kiss” move. Note to the three men that read this blog– that’s a d*ck move, OK? Don’t hug us, pull away just a little bit, and then lean in unless you’re hoping to get some MAC lip gloss on yourself.
8. Took self out for pity breakfast on Saturday morning. May have discovered that I’ve been harboring secret crush on owner of favorite cafe.
6. Went to the bar for a beer. This was a big deal. Of course, it would have been a bigger deal if I hadn’t then kissed unsuitable guy from the past (like elementary school past) outside of the bar.
5. Woke up on Sunday morning.
4. Took self out for lunch on Sunday afternoon. To the same cafe. Crush confirmed, but will never attempt move. Too risky. May result in loss of delicious breakfast sandwich options just steps from my apartment.
3. Went to the park to study. Ended up staring at men running by and getting sunburned.
2. Developed supreme cold on Sunday night, resulting in NyQuil haze and having to leave work the next day.
1. Ignored multiple texts, calls, and general stalking from unsuitable Saturday night guy. Answered texts (WHY??) from Sometimes-Date Sunday evening. Have taken new vow of abstinence and singledom and will continue to work on doing things by self.
Unless I can find a way to get date with cafe owner, and work out system of having heavenly breakfast made for me without having to leave my apartment.
Quarterlife Crisis 