10.31.08
Sweet Cherry Pie
Things were going pretty smoothly last night. I made it to barre class, cooked an edible and healthy dinner, and even had the chutzpa to get going on some laundry. The laundry in my building is in what I refer to as the “scary basement”, covered in cobwebs and random building supplies and the seventeen bikes my landlord seems to own but refuses to keep at his place.
Braved the basement, threw in the wash, and hustled back upstairs to study and try to avoid eating four bowls of dry cereal and/or opening a bottle of wine. I sidestepped the growing pile of dust bunnies at the head of the stairs with ease. And then I discovered that I had YET AGAIN locked myself out of my apartment. Without my cell phone. Wearing this:
*minus the hat
Yup, I locked myself out of the apartment without a bra and wearing my cherry pajama pants. For the third time. These pants have only been pulled out of the drawer on four occasions, three of which involve a dire laundry situation and subsequent lock out, and one occasion (seen above) in which I decided this was the best thing to put on in a drunken state to eat macaroni and cheese with the Usual Suspects at 2 in the morning.
So I put my arm across my chest and hauled my cherries upstairs to the apartment above mine. Luckily they were home, and they’re very nice. Although one of them is a professional juggler and they do “performance art”. Which I learned via the neighborhood newspaper after I had just finished pet sitting for them. Actually, that article made a lot of things I’d seen in their apartment a bit easier to swallow, but I digress.
They let me in, where I sat awkwardly on the edge of their couch covering my breasts and using their cell phone to repeatedly call my landlord while they ate veggie fajitas off of their coffee table and discussed the upcoming Zombie Prom. On the sixth try landlord answered, and he thankfully showed up with keys fifteen minutes later. With his 18 month old. Because if I didn’t feel like enough of a jerk for hauling him out in the cold the shivering baby really drove my idiocy home.
So I guess I’ll be adding donate bad luck cherry pants to Goodwill or teach Izzi how to unlock the door to the list of things I need to do this weekend.
10.30.08
There’s a cow in my office
and a giraffe, a robot, and about twelve Batmans.
It’s the company annual Halloween parade. And while I completely and utterly love children that belong to other people (in particular, not in general) I’m pretty sure that I don’t want any.
Sure as in I’m wondering if I can sell all of my eggs at once. Think of the problems this would solve:
1- Paying for law school
2- Pesky birth control habit
3- Guilt absolved by helping a couple that would love a child and be amazing parents welcome a baby into the world
I’ll be mulling this over while shoving Gobstoppers into my face. Because, yes, I’m the jerk that buys choke candy without thinking about the fact that the average parade participant is three years old.
10.29.08
Brrrr
When my run this morning required a hat, three top layers, and gloves I probably should have reconsidered my “goal for the day”. Today’s goal was to really narrow down my top choices for law schools, since my applications need to be filed in the next two weeks.
Now I’ve spent the afternoon staring longingly at the websites of schools in warm climates. Schools I’ve never been remotely interested in until I sorted them by state (specifically, warm).
So if I randomly end up at a tiny school in Florida that doesn’t even have an IP program you’ll know what happened.
10.28.08
The Great Regroup
As you may have gathered from yesterday’s Random Ten last week was a bit of a cluster. I managed to avoid every responsibility and schedule I have (besides work) while generally feeling ugh until the weekend. And frankly there was a moment on Sunday morning that I felt a bit lost and saw the day stretching ahead of me in rerun TV and grazing. Luckily I snapped out of that when my mother called for outlet shopping and a fried lunch and commiseration about how unhappy we are with our respective weights while going a little nuts at the Lindt factory store. And no, neither of us view this behavior as ironic. Why do you ask?
It’s almost Halloween, and I have to admit it’s bringing up some strange feelings. Last year the ex and I skipped the celebration of it on purpose (I JUST PLANNED A WEDDING AND I AM EXHAUSTED AND I DON’T WANT TO DRESS UP TO GO TO YOUR ANNOYING FRIEND’S HOUSE SO WE CAN ARGUE OVER WHO IS DRIVING HOME AND THE OTHER WILL PROBABLY END UP SLEEPING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR AFTER OVERDOING IT ANYWAY). The years before that involved couples costumes and parties. 2008 was supposed to involve a party, but I believe that’s been cancelled at the last moment, which leaves this as another Halloween-less year. That’s OK since I haven’t really had the inclination to go pick out a “insert slutty occupation here” costume yet.
But the feelings this time of year is bringing up are not just party related. It’s going to be a year of skipping, really. Thanksgiving (or lack thereof) in London, Christmas in California without gifts but with the immediate family, and a fall free of apple crisp, state fairs, and decorations. All of these things are fine with me– in fact, I’m looking forward to the holiday portions– but they serve as reminders of how much things have changed in the past twelve months.
If you’d told the bratty bridezilla that at this time this year she’d be studying for the LSAT, trying to make up a list of schools to apply to in cities across the country, living alone, and completely and utterly single she probably would have laughed in your face. But maybe, just maybe, she would have gone to that Halloween party after all with the knowledge that she should enjoy having excess income and a DD while she could.
10.27.08
Random Ten Recap
OK, I’m here. It’s been quite a bit since I updated or posted so I’m going to do this in the easiest way by combining my week with a Random Ten Post. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be back with something more creative and inspiring but at least this will get the past crap week out of the way quickly.
10. I got sick. With the fever and swollen glands type of cold. It was pretty attractive.
9. I took getting sick as a reason to not work out most of the week.
8. Though the cold didn’t keep me from a ridiculous amount of emotional eating and diet vacation.
7. As a result I had to throw out my peanut butter and jelly. Yes. Wasteful, I know. But it spiraled into some sort of Bridget Jones moment and the fact that Bridget Jones was actually on in the background cemented the sandwich fixings fate.
6. My parents returned from Europe (yay!) with lots of good stories about the Golden Child and some fun luxury items for me.
5. My father returned from duty free with a massive amount of Bombay Sapphire.
4. Which resulted in me making a seriously drunken appearance at Chinese Food with my parents on Saturday night.
3. Saturday night with free gin and free food is a pretty amazing deal even if it’s not a date.
2. My best friend got engaged!
1. And I celebrated by sleeping with someone inappropriate!
10.17.08
In a Mood
Ok, I don’t want to jinx this or anything, but I am in a freaking fabulous mood. It’s Friday, I’m down two pounds (which I plan to replace with booze this weekend), and I look adorable today if I do say so myself. I’m even wearing my new boots:
Please note the HOT filing cabinet in this photograph. I think it really brings out the potential inappropriateness of what I’m wearing to the office. But even better? I’m about to bring these boots over to LSAT tutoring! YES. My f-me Boots are going to walk right over to Test Prep Services.
And FYI, if anyone is going to ask why I don’t do that adorable thing where I tuck my jeans into my boots like all the cool kids are doing it’s because I could barely zip these things over my man calves (which match my thoroughbred thighs) and an extra half-inch of jeans would exacerbate the “leather sausage” situation.
So the boots are a reason for the joy (yes they hurt, OK, but worth it). I may skip the gym today and feel OK about that. Happiness! I have to leave the office at 3:45 for an appointment. Bliss! And tonight? Tonight I’m going to see a concert with a girl from my office that I like but have never gotten to hang out with before. So yay for new social situations.
And apparently tomorrow night I’ll be going out to celebrate the birthday of the Crush-That-Cannot-Be. So two nights out? With people? And drinking? Ultimate excitement.
The strange thing is that I’m not looking at these evenings as a chance to meet men. I’m excited about the prospect of hanging out with friends outside of my Ikea Hermit Hole and just having an all around good time (this is easier to do since I’m really looking forward to girls night out in the next month or so that may be more suitable for finding cute boys).
Now, what slutty top should I wear tonight? You know, not that I’m looking for attention or trying to share the happy…
10.16.08
Regression
In case anyone has been wondering if I went to the gym on Tuesday after reading that inspiring horoscope the answer is yes. I made it through a mini strength workout, forty minutes on the elliptical, and twenty on the bike. I was so impressed with myself for muscling through that I drove directly over to Whole Foods and blew half of my grocery budget on discount wines and dark chocolate covered ginger and some salad bar vegetables. Which brings me back to my previous program of not allowing myself anywhere near a Whole Foods because I spend $19,000 on stuff and cannot even remember to bring my “I’m a Good Person” bags into the store with me.
I’m sure there will be a time, years from now, when I look back fondly on the days that I ate Kashi cereal for five meals in a row because I spent my grocery funds on wine. Ah, the freedom! I’ll say.
Today is not that day. Especially since I can’t even drink the wine until the weekend re: my new nutritional plan and the overwhelming notion that my extra LBs are the reason I have yet to date. Yes, logically I know that the reason I have yet to date is the same reason I’ve gained the LBs (see staying in apartment by self and eating english muffins as if it were my night job).
Which brings me to last night and my actual night job. Ok, my occasional night job that I only say yes to when I want to and get paid under the table for. Besides the fact that the Sometimes-Date watches me from a picture over the sink as I do dishes babysitting is lovely and providing some extra $ that’s much needed (even when I’m not blowing it on crap wine). I’m a bit rusty at the child handling though. I have to admit that last night when a fight broke out over Pokemon I drew a complete mental blank on the best way to break up an argument between a six and seven year old. It got better, but still. I need to brush up.
So when Counter Top texted to see what I was up to I had to say I was babysitting. He was eating crabs with the Coast Guard in backwoods Louisiana. That’s much more interesting.
And then, just as I had pulled out the ol’ Kaplan friend Will texted to ask if I was watching the debate. I had to tell him that I was in fact studying and babysitting. Because I was sixteen again.
Will asked if I was planning to drive the Cabriolet home after I finished. And for a brief moment I forgot about the holes in the roof and the passenger seat that wasn’t fully bolted to the floor and the overwhelming smell of Camel Turkish Golds wafting from the vinyl and pined for my first car. For the memories it represented? Yes. But mainly because my car payment was equivalent to what I spent in aisle two at Whole Foods the night before.
10.14.08
Huh
I’m not a horoscope kind of girl. I find it humorous when other people ask what my sign is (particularly when they’re male, though I then find out their sign and check our “compatibility” ASAP). (What, I grew up with Seventeen).
But my daily horoscope does come up on my Google homepage. As does the LSAT countdown ticker, my Google 15, and the Daily Puppy (aka puppy porn). And this brand’s horoscope isn’t usually far off. You know, if you believe in that stuff.
Here’s today:
You may discover a new way of seeing who you are as the Full Moon activates your 2nd House of Core Beliefs. This is a great time to change your attitude if you recently had doubts about your place in the world or your worth as a person. There’s no need to hang out in the dark shadows today; walk on the sunny side of the street and let your positive thoughts set the tone for the days ahead.
I barely made it to my pilates class this morning. I basically told the dental hygienist at my appointment to shove the flossing lecture. I would love to talk to my mother but she and my father are visiting the golden child in London and I’m guessing the “I’m cranky across the pond” phone call will have little to no result.
So this horoscope doesn’t match my day. But it’s making me feel extremely guilty about not wanting to go to the gym. Maybe I should “set a positive tone” with my lifting routine. One that translate into dropping some LBs in the days ahead. And finding some sunny spots inside the meat market gym. You know, adjust my attitude towards my overwhelming laziness and desire to consume an entire birthday cake from Whole Foods for no reason.
Damn you, cosmos. Damn you.
10.13.08
Random Ten Age
My birthday is four months. Which means that I’ve made it through 2/3 of what has turned out to be an extremely hard year and the quarter life point. Well, that is if I live to 100, but I’m hoping to go out in flames in a dramatic fashion around 75 so that I’ll have lived a full life but be at the front end of the busy funeral schedule that seems to hit octogenarians the way our generation has to attend a wedding every other weekend.
Perhaps I’m jumping the gun on the age post but I’m desperately hoping there will be some sort of big blowout planned for my 26th birthday, particularly since today is my “wedding” anniversary and I have yet to see any sign of the divorce party I was really looking forward to. Also, this weekend brought up some interesting age moments.
10. I still get carded at R-rated movies.
9. But I now only seem to get carded at bars that have obviously been recently busted for underage serving.
8. No one is shocked anymore that I have the job that I do at the age that I am. This is extremely depressing.
7. My ideal man age? 29-35. I hate to be so picky about it but I haven’t found a lot in common with my graduating class range. Also? The divorced thing is a bit much for a 25-year-old guy to swallow.
6. If I get into law school I’ll be 30 by the time I’m out and looking for my first job. That’s not actually too bad.
5. My brother is 24 but I occasionally slip and tell people he’s 21.
4. When my father was my age he had a 12 month old and had been married for four years.
3. I have been supremely grateful for the past ten years that my parents haven’t pressured me to make the same choices they have although it worked out beautifully for them.
2. I need to start using eye cream. There. It’s out there.
1. I’ve found myself seriously saying things like “those kids” and not being able to identify half the people on perezhilton.com. The Jonas Brothers? I had to google them.
